random thoughts: tony.

I was writing another blog post, and these words tumbled out from my keyboard. So I decided to give them their own post instead:

I have a wonderful partner in Tony, in that he has always been supportive of me, whatever it is that I choose to pursue. He and I are both creative/artistic souls, and he understand how big a part this plays in our lives. Tony is so amazingly proud at what I have accomplished with my photo business already, and is (almost) equally excited as new triumphs occur. He tells me that he's never surprised, though... always telling me how good I am, and that it will just take time, but that I'll get to where I want to be someday. He doesn't mind the long nights I spend on the computer, where he barely gets a chance to play his favorite obsession (Bejewelled), and our conversations occur across the room because he is on the couch and I am stuck in the computer chair. He doesn't mind that I stay home on weekend nights because I have a deadline to meet. As I sit there in that chair, night after night, and rub my eyes from bleariness or let out a deep sigh, he wanders my way and stops behind me, massaging my tired shoulders and laying a relaxing hand across my forehead. And in those moments my frustration bursts through and I curse or get choked up and try not to cry, he is there, moving me aside and taking over. Taking the stress and strain off of me, he handles the technical stuff so it's one less thing for me to worry about.

He is a wonderful partner. And I miss him.

For the last few nights, we have gone out walking together. We take the dog and the flashlight, and walk the 2-mile loop around our neighborhood. Half uphill, half downhill. It's great exercise, it tries our patience (as we take turns struggling to make the dog cooperate), and it gives us a chance to unwind from the day. Together. I can't speak for Tony, but for me, it's been very cathartic. I feel united with him, and at peace with us. We went out to dinner last night, and it felt like a date. Not just a dinner where we vented about our day and spoke of our "to do" lists, but a date.


And this morning we went for another walk before heading to work. It was Tony's idea, since the dog was going to be cooped up longer than usual (we're meeting up with his family for dinner tonight). It was a wonderful way to start the day. It just felt good to walk beside him.