excerpt from the office

I am standing in my boss's office as he scans the accounting charts I've just handed him, against my better judgment. Because I know that he won't just take a quick scan and let them go. Nope. He takes it upon himself to go through the document line by line, questing each payment and calculation made. I remind him that I just got off the phone with the accountant, and that she said (with a sigh, knowing how difficult my boss can be) that everything was up to date; that nothing had changed since he put her through this same process last week.

At first, my boss asks me direct questions about the different entries; he asks me to run the calculations myself and make sure the numbers compute. I take a deep breath, then calmly remind him that the calculations were made in the accounting program itself; that since no human was involved in the addition, the numbers would be correct. And I remind him, again, that the accountant just told me that everything is current and up to date.

He grunts, then continues to go through the documents. Muttering as he goes along. I focus on my breathing. In. Out. In. Out. Try to ignore the tightening in my stomach as I stand there. The minutes tick by. I'm still standing there, and he's still mumbling. I tune him out so that he becomes background noise... the sound of a pesky fly buzzing nearby.

"...2,653 on February 12... 12,865 on March 13... but what is this?"

I realize that he has stopped talking, as he had just asked a question. Oh, crap. I wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention. I am instantly transported back to my trigonometry class during my senior year of high school. As the teacher calls on me and all heads swing my way, and I haven't got a clue. He might have been speaking another language, for all I know...

The silence is deafening, as the blood rushes to my ears and I try to think of something to say. Something, ANYTHING, as he is waiting for an answer. My mouth starts to form a word... "um" is the best I can do to stall for more time. But before I can utter a vowel, he continues to talk to himself.

"okay. that makes sense now."

I continue to stand there. And stand there. And stand there. My eye is caught by some pictures hanging from his computer screen. They are familiar to me... pictures that I took of his daughter. And I hone in on those images... they are my salvation as I stand there, biting my tongue till I can almost taste the blood. Those pictures are why I am here. Those pictures are my goal. Those pictures are what makes this drudgery all worth it... because one day, taking pictures like those will replace this nightmare of a daily office job.

I stand there and hold onto that thought until my boss looks up and dismisses me from his office... 20 minutes later.